WHAT IS HAPPENING?
I’m so swamped up between school and ORG and everything in-between. Omg. It’s only week 2 of school. I’m poor…I’m behind in classes…I sleep in class…and I am jobless. What am I going to do? And I still need another loan in order to pay for housing and what-not. blahredablahrblharblarbalrhabrlhblarh.
But, nonetheless, whether it be actual class material or not, I am definitely learning. I’m learning how to manage time wisely, how to do adult things and make adult decisions, and all that other cliche shit. I’ve been making friends everywhere I go so that’s a positive thing.
And err….yeah. I just needed to word vomit so I can be sane again. k bye.
ew why am i so attractive.
Probably one of the highlights of my Senior year. My last performance of High School and what better way to end it with the people who inspired me to dance in the first place. Thanks again Jaymes, Kim and Erlinda for putting this together last minute, literally hahaha! Yee Anak Project!
No, not Epiphany as in the 3 Magi with the gifts. (I want gold, frankincense, and myrrh for my birthday this year…nahh jk. I’m not that cool)
Anyways, I’ve realized that I’m not really good at something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah…there’s dance, piano, school, breathing, etc.
Dance: I’m not THAT super-amazing-awesome dancer that can do any style, flips, tricks, crazy tuts, and shiznits. I KNOW I am not exceptional, but at least I’m mediocre enough to get by. I’m ambitious, I’ll admit, but I’m no where near the level of being a true industry/entertainment performer. Halfway between a hobby and a passion, dancing is just something I can fall back on because it’s just fun for me. Plus, it’s a healthy, natural form of exercising…because I’m unfit and fat…in my POV. Lolz.
Piano:I’ve had like…6-7 years of classical piano lessons…yeah. I stopped in the middle of my freshman year in high school(I think) because I simply couldn’t fit in the hours of practicing in the busy schedule of a teenager. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I went down the road to a professional pianist…seriously. It would be so amazing to play more entertaining, difficult classical pieces; but at least I’ve learned enough to be able to identify chords, notes, and what not. At my level(I don’t know what level of piano I’m on; for a while I seriously didn’t even know that levels existed) of experience I can somewhat sight-read most sheet music, kinda improvise a little bit on some songs, and sorta play-by-ear. I know that I can’t be that “omg, young Asian kid playing Chopin nocturnes blindfolded” shiet, but I hope in the future, after schooling, I can return to the musical art. It’s really bummed me out that I’m not “good” at playing piano; I seriously don’t have any technique at all…I just…play. Haha.
School: Yeah…4.0 Asian kid here. But hey, I’m not perfect. I have A MINUSES! HAHA! YEAHH…I’M HELLA DUMB! Anyways, I don’t think I’m “academic-decathlon-with-Kevin G-and-Cady Heron” material. Sure I do well in school, but I’m not “super smart”; I’m just good at doing work, paying attention, and remembering shiet that’s important. Seriously, for school, it’s about how much effort you exert that determines your grade. Unless you’re legitimately mentally retarded, school shouldn’t be that bad of an experience. I’m definitely not valedictorian-bound. asdfghjkl; too lazy to explain this topic in detail any longer. NEXT.
I know I sound like I’m whining, but I don’t like the feeling of mediocrity. It really bugs me. I want to find something I’m good at. No, none of that “Oh, no one is youer than you” crap. I want to seriously excel in something; I want to be exceptional. I want the fcuking spotlight. Oh shiet I’m re-reading this and I seem so negative(I’m not). Haha. asdfghjkl;
School: Day in, day out. Schedule implanted in your brains. Class after class, something new learned. Same faces each weekday. I don’t know, but I find it very BORING. Not school, not the education, not the knowledge, but the routine of it all. I get tired of people easily; if I see your face so much, sometimes everything will be predictable—the way you react to homework, your opinions on certain topics, what you do for homework. All of you people are somewhat of an eyesore, and quite frankly, when it comes to the months, years, decades after high school, will I care who you are anymore? I keep returning to these thoughts of the people you associate with in high school. They always say that “who you hang out with determines who you are” or something like that; well, for me, I determine who I am, and I don’t let others define me. Blah, blah, blah. I’m rambling. Anyways, my point is that I’ve just gotten in a “bored” state of mind recently—many things seems so futile, unnecessary, unimportant; however, everything happens for a reason as well. With that being said, I’m constantly contradicting myself and my opinions, but perhaps that’s just how I am—a hypocrite. HAH. asdfghjkl; fcuk I hate typing out my thoughts because it always ends up circumlocutory and verbose. FCUKING ENGLISH CLASS…raaahhh.